If you are not pushing yourself and taking some risks, and are just living the life you are handed, you are just reacting to life, not living it.
There, I said it. Bomb dropped. Tough love time.
But it’s so true. I used to just repeat the same days over and over again. I was stuck, either too lazy to change my situation or not sure how. Then, I had an awakening of sorts, a very traumatic event in my life that changed everything. But change doesn’t happen all at once. Over the last few years, it has been gradual change forged by the baby step decisions I have made to create a specific type of life for myself and my family.
I would say I am motivated to change. But I can’t.
Because motivation is a myth.
Motivation is simply the excitement you have when you think about or decide to try something new that is appealing to you. It’s easy to say “focus on the end game” when the excitement starts to wane (and it will), but even that fades after a bit.
True motivation comes from determination and focus. People often tell me they “Need some of my motivation”, and I’m not quite sure what they mean. I wake up most mornings and absolutely do NOT want to work out, or eat healthy, or go to work, or even get up out of the bed.
But I am determined. I KNOW that the results of my efforts or more rewarding than the results of staying in bed. I KNOW that working out when I haven’t slept well or have a headache is worth it in the end. I KNOW it! So I show up.
Motivation is a lie. Motivation is determination disguised as something that “happens to you” rather than something you choose and work at.
Make a CHOICE.
Choose to change your situation if you’re not happy. You have the means to do so. It may not be fun or easy, but nothing is impossible.
Choose to be present and enjoy the time you have with your family.
Choose to go on adventures with your kids, even if it’s just a walk around the block.
Choose change. Choose different. Choose a life outside of the boundaries of what everyone else is doing. Take some risks, do some things that scare you. You won’t regret it and it will have nothing to do with motivation and everything to do with living your life by design rather than circumstance.
Here are my 5 top tips for choosing your best life:
- Start with a choice. You have to decide what it is you want. Sometimes, we forget what that is within the wildness of life, so you may have to really dig deep for this one, but choose.
- Be specific. “Make more money” is not a specific choice. It’s a wish. “Earn $5,000 more this year vs last year by earning my certification before Dec 31” is a specific choice.
- Be realistic, but shoot for the stars. “Be a movie star” is not realistic if you’ve never auditioned or taken an acting class. Choose a goal that is one that you can attain, even if the road is long and curvy.
- Create long-term and short-term plans. “Rustic camping with the family once a month for the next 6 months” is short-term. “Rustic camping for a week with the family in Big Bend National Park” is a long-term plan that you would have to work up to and plan carefully for.
- Bask in positivity. Focus on the thoughts around your choice and the choices you make every day. Notice when they turn negative and redirect your thoughts to something positive. “I will never look as fit as she does” could be “She is very fit, but I bet she may have started out just like me” or “She is very fit, but I am my own person and this is my journey. I have come so far”.
Try taking these steps for anything in your life that you want to change or improve. See how they help you grow and change, even when it’s uncomfortable. I know you will enjoy the results and maybe even the journey.